The exception is women of beauty. Women who are exceptionally beautiful intimidate guys and they don’t approach. Hint, hint gentlemen, do you sense a tremendous amount of opportunity here if you are willing to take a chance? But I digress..

The fact is, as men we face a great deal of competition for attractive women.
If a woman gets rejected by a man, she does not have to wait long until some other guy enters the picture, but for men it’s not that easy. We must put ourselves “out there” and risk a painful rejection. An attractive woman will turn you down without battering an eyelid, I swear they are, for the most part quite oblivious to our PAIN when they reject us.

The silver lining among this apparent dark cloud is that, while hot women get approached quite often, most men DON’T HAVE THE FIRST CLUE ABOUT HOW TO ATTRACT A WOMAN and usually, she’ll just blow him off.

We, on the other hand DO KNOW WHAT TURNS WOMEN ON, well admittedly many of us are still learning, but with the knowledge available on this website and others, you have a head-start on the average man.

Still, one thing we must always do is to somehow set ourselves apart from all the other men who have approached her. So let’s look at 6 simple ways that you can stand out from the crowd..

1. BUY GOOD CLOTHES AND ALWAYS LOOK GOOD

Newsflash guys. Women notice fashion!

Most women can clothes shop all day. Most men hate shopping and fashion, which means one thing. Dressing well is a way to win some EASY POINTS.. and yes, she does keep a tally of how many points

Most men don’t have a clue how to dress, so just making an effort puts you ahead.

Now a few simple tips..

When buying clothes, the important thing is to dress in a way that subtly projects wealth. Ok, so you might not actually HAVE any wealth, but this is not the point. You are trying to subtly convey that you are a man of WORTH. It’s more about your attitude than who you actually are.

If you do not have any wealth, you should still subtly convey that you have done alright for yourself, or are likely to in future.

You don’t have to spend a fortune, but you should at least be aware of some fashion trends and have some fashion sense. Also don’t try and be over-impressive with your clothes or it will come across as approval seeking.

2. GET YOUR APARTMENT/CAR IN ORDER

Most guys don’t care about the conditions in which they live. The place could be a complete MESS and it would not bother a guy at all. His underwear could be hanging on the lamp, smelly old socks stuck to the wall and last week’s instant lasagna sitting on the coffee table growing MOLD does not phase him in the slightest.

But it will certainly phase HER.

How you live proclaims a lot about your status as a man and could make or break the deal..  So it’s time to clean up the joint!

Two things to keep in mind when planning and arranging the look and feel of your living arrangements are to: 1) make sure a woman would feel comfortable and welcome at your place but.. 2) It should look like a MAN lives there.

Your car is like a miniature version of your house, so you want to follow the same general rules. Keep it clean on the inside and out. Fix anything that is obviously broken, like windows, doors, latches. You don’t need a fancy car, but it should be fully functional and not a candidate for the scrap heap!

3. BE SOCIAL

While you may be quite content to stay in the house all day, playing video games, watching TV, or indulging in your latest geek obsession, the fact is, YOU DON’T MEET WOMEN AT HOME.

Woman tend to not view solitary activities favorably either. They are much more socially sensitive than guys tend to be, so are attracted to men who are socially engaged in their world.

If you are starting from “ground zero” cultivating a social life can be tough going.

I highly recommend you click on the link to the following website if you are having trouble improving your social skills or are just looking for ideas to kick-start your social life.

4. GET A JOB (AND GET GOOD AT IT)

Having a job is not only viewed positively by women and society in general. It will also help raise your stakes in the wealth scale. If you can find something you are passionate about and get good at it, you will naturally gain confidence as a direct result of your success.

Just be warned, despite what women think and what society views as “acceptable”, a job that you HATE will have an entirely counterproductive effect. A bad job will DRAIN your passion and energy from life.

Unfortunately, you can’t always know ahead of time if a job is going to work out, but you CAN actively seek out work that you think you’ll like.

5. BE A LEADER IN YOUR COMMUNITY

It’s hard to believe, but women still LOVE to be LED by a dominant man.

Becoming a leader in a local community group will achieve several things.

• It will get you used to the “leader” role
• It will force you to get socially engaged with people and improve your social skills.

Plus, if a woman ever witnesses you acting competently in your leader role, it should not harm her attraction either.

6. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ATTRACTIVE FEMALE FRIENDS

Few women won’t admit it, but they LOVE a challenge.. What this means is they respond to a man who is not too available.. That is, when she thinks there’s an element of doubt that she can win him.

Surrounding yourself with attractive female friends will not only make you more comfortable around women, it makes you more attractive when OTHER WOMEN SEE YOU.

Women naturally look for clues from other women when weighing up the suitability of a mate. If other women have accepted you then you must have something going for you right?

I’m not saying you should form fake friendships. Instead, learn to appreciate women for the unique human beings they are (whether you sleep with them or not).

Trust me, they’ll appreciate it!

Technorati Tags: How to Attract A Woman

Yes we have all met the proverbial “ladies man” who can confidently walk up to any girl and make her swoon from his every word and gesture.

But the ladies man proves the exception rather than the rule. The simple reason is this..


PICKING UP WOMEN IS NOT NATURAL


Weird but true. It’s funny, because on one hand, when we see a sexy woman, we are INSTANTLY ATTRACTED the moment she appears.

Yet there is also a deep and natural FEAR instilled in us that stops us from approaching and taking action.

The reason for this is debatable. My theory is, that this fear is a primal defense mechanism that saved men from VERY REAL DANGER when humans lived in small tribes of 20-30 members. With a group so small, a man’s every move was immediately known to EVERYONE.

Should a man approach a woman, he found attractive and that woman REJECTED HIM, it was bad news for him indeed. Everyone in the tribe would know about it INSTANTLY. Other women would shun him for life. He might even be OSTRACIZED from the group.

Today, humans do not live this way and unless you live in a small town, you are unlikely to face the same consequences when you fail in a pickup attempt. Yet this natural (and now obsolete) fear remains in every man. Why?

Many of our deep rooted, primal behaviors remain with us today. Yes, as a species we always evolved over time to suite changing conditions, but these change are gradual, spanning hundreds of thousands of years.

Over the last few thousand years, our environment has changed at an astounding rate, both culturally and technologically. Evolution could not possibly have kept pace.

It is why I think this deep, natural FEAR of approaching the woman we desire remains within us all. Your job is to overcome it.

Before getting into the finer details about how to approach women, let me address something.. It is probably something you are wondering about too..

If picking up women is not a natural activity, yet the human race has survived for hundreds of thousands of years, then how did people ever get together?

The answer is, most couples tend to meet through their social circles. Most lasting, meaningful relationships tend to be started that way. Very rarely does a long term relationship start out as a bar pickup or cold approach by a man.

So why, then should you do pickup at all? The reason is this:


BECAUSE PRACTICING PICKUP WILL SKYROCKET YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS


Picking up an attractive woman requires an extremely high level of SOCIAL AWARENESS and SOCIAL SKILL. The very practice of picking up will hone your social skills with ALL PEOPLE, not just the women you find attractive. It will help you in other areas of your life too, where you need to win and influence other people. Think about the skills you need when you are applying for a job or networking in your business community.

When done right, pickup technique will teach you:

• Acute social awareness
• How to BOLDLY take action
• How to RAPIDLY charm and influence the people around you
• Body language techniques for making people feel comfortable in your presence
• How to think and talk on your feet
• How to flirt light-heartedly
• How to structure an interaction and move it towards your desired outcome

Some might consider it manipulative but I say, pickup – when broken down,  is just a bunch of SOCIAL TOOLS. As will all types of tools, great things can be achieved when handled correctly..


OR A GREAT DEAL OF HARM WHEN THEY’RE NOT


Pickup is neither “good” nor “evil”, it is simply a way to connect, charm and influence people towards a mutually desirable outcome. Still think this is manipulative?

Then consider this..

Many women go out, LOOKING for the “man of their dreams”, unconsciously perhaps, but you can rest assured it is at the back of their minds.

In truth, women actually WANT to be “swept off their feet” by a man who knows exactly what he’s doing. It is a woman’s fantasy.

Consider also, that a guy may have the best pickup technique in the world, but in actual fact.


EVEN THE BEST PICKUP ARTIST IN THE WORLD CAN’T SEDUCE EVERY GIRL


For all the talk that great pickup artists make of being able to pickup any girl. In truth, people will always have a CHOICE. They will “buy in” to you picking them up, or they won’t. The women who do, tend to actually WANT TO BE PICKED UP.

At the back of her mind, and although she might not show it..


SHE WANTS TO MEET SOMEONE TOO


For all the negative views on pickup, when you examine it closely you find it can help two people get WHAT THEY ARE BOTH LOOKING FOR ANYWAY.

When a woman says she does not want to be “picked up”, she usually has some lame, weird pickup attempt in her mind. Some bad experience in the past..

And unfortunately women have had plenty!

The average man is poorly socialized and untrained in the art of approaching and charming women. He goes to bars and clubs to “get laid” search of women to “hit on” with his favorite pickup lines. Needless to say, when he approaches a girl, he usually SCREWS IT UP ENTIRELY and puts women in a natural state of defensiveness.

She has probably heard variations of the following, hundreds of times before:

“Great legs, what time do they open?”

“You must be tired because you’ve been running through my head all night.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?”

…and everyone’s favorite.

“Do you come here often?”

Yes, women will SAY they don’t go out to meet someone… Is it any guess why?

Actually the last one is not so bad, it is inoffensive and she could probably appreciate that your mind has gone blank and you can’t think of anything to say.

It may even be forgivable considering you approached her at all. Yet, it is incredibly unimaginative and just about every guy who approached her before you has said the EXACT SAME LINE. So you might get away with it, but YOU BETTER MAKE DAMN SURE YOU HAVE SOMETHING GOOD TO FOLLOW UP WITH.

Ok, let’s look at how to pick up women, the “right way”, the CLASSY way.

FOCUS ON DELIVERY NOT PICKUP LINES

Many men put way too much importance on coming up with the perfect opening line. In reality, a woman who wants to be approached is generally flattered when a guy wants to talk to them.

Ok, if you are drunk and are the 50th guy to come up to her in the club that night, she might not be so charmed, but in normal circumstances and if you do not act like a JERK, almost ANYTHING you say will be just fine to start a conversation.

Look for women who are making eye contact with you. A woman who is making eye contact, is on a subconscious level giving you permission to approach her.

If you cannot read her signals approach anyway. Do not linger around the bar working up the courage or thinking up the perfect line to say. If she sees you hesitate for a moment you’re SUNK before you even open your mouth.

Approach confidently and immediately, a simple “Hi” is a perfectly effective pickup line.

A woman who talks back to you has given you permission to continue the conversation. In most cases she will, since you paid her the compliment of showing interest in her.

GET YOUR VOICE AND BODYLANGUAGE IN ORDER

When you walk up to her, you want her to be thinking of you as warm, friendly, social guy and more importantly safe and “normal” (rather than weird and creepy).

When you speak, ENSURE YOU TALK LOUD ENOUGH. A loud voice demonstrates your confidence, a soft voice projects weirdness, or that you are approval seeking. This is not the way you want to frame your interaction.

You want her to see that you “like what you see so far”, but she has to prove herself to you first. Acting like you’re trying hard to impress her demonstrates too much interest too soon. You are basically handing over your BALLS on a silver plate! There is no challenge for her. (Women love a challenge).

Also, SPEAK AT AN EVEN PACE AND TONE speaking too fast, projects nervousness.

Smile as you approach her, but don’t over do it or you will look goofy. MAKE GOOD EYE CONTACT and remain confident with your hands by your side or with minimal movement. Don’t tense up or make nervous gestures.

GET INTO A TWO-WAY CONVERSATION

Your initial approach tends to be the most nerve-wracking part of approaching a woman. It is where many guys get stuck in their heads.

Yet it is what follows that really counts..

Once you have approached her and you have her initial attention, your next goal is to get into a NATURAL TWO-WAY CONVERSATION. A two-way, conversation is when you are both talking in roughly equal amounts. If SHE is doing most of the talking all the better.

If she is only giving you one word answers, or you are doing most of the work to keep the conversation going, you are NOT having a two-way conversation. She has accepted your approach, but has not invested in the conversation. Her interest level is probably not high.

If you cannot reach a two-way conversation, there is not much point continuing the pickup. Chances are you did not approach her well. Take heart in the fact that you approached at all. It is more than most guys can say.

YOU MUST ESCALATE

At the start of your seduction, you are doing no more than having a normal conversation as you would with anyone else. Normal conversation is great, but your goal is to PICK HER UP. In order to do this, you cannot just have normal conversation. You must be looking to move your conversation from “normal” to “personal”.

An effective technique for doing this is to look for a REASON to make it personal. When she gives you a reason for you being interested, you then make that reason believable by SHOWING YOUR INTENT.

A reason can be anything she does or says that is unique, interesting or when she makes a worthy effort. When you “reward” her for her effort you “escalates” the interaction towards a romantic outcome.

This is a CRUCIAL step in a pickup attempt. If you do not escalate, the conversation will eventually dry up and she will leave.

You should also be trying to build RAPPORT with the girl. Rapport is a deeper state of interaction than small talk and fluff talk.

To build rapport, simply LISTEN and get a feel for what her interests are. It is your job to pick up on these cues and then show you either have a similar interest or are open-minded enough to learn more about whatever it is that interests her. Focus on building these shared interests as quickly as possible. The more “connected” you are to her, the less chance she’ll find an excuse to blow you off.

ONCE SHE IS HOOKED, CLOSE THE DEAL

Ok, so you have:

• Approached her
• Transitioned into a TWO-WAY normal conversation
• ESCALATED and GAINED RAPPORT with the girl and she is feeling more “connected” with you.

It is time to “close the deal” and ask for her number, or lead her out of the current environment. Taking her to a few different venues makes it feel like you’ve spent more time with her and that you know her better. Even if you only spend a short time at each place.

If you “date” her right away, take the lead. Tell her there’s this great cafe/ice cream shop/lounge/comedy club, etc that you know about.

If you have to leave or she has to go, it is CRUCIAL you ask for her phone number or email address. Once you have her number, don’t leave immediately as it demonstrates you were over-invested in getting the number.

Try and end the pickup when she is on a “high”. It increases the chance that she will think about you in your absence and will improve your chances of a future meeting.

A WARNING ABOUT PICKUP

Picking up women can be an exciting lifestyle to live. Being able to confidently approach almost any attractive woman you desire and be able to make her feel ATTRACTED to you, is a thrilling fantasy for just about any man.

While I believe learning the skills of approaching women and talking to women in the context of moving her towards a romantic outcome is something that every man should commit himself to learning at one stage in his life, at the same time, encouraging all men to pursue this lifestyle is bad advice.

Now you probably thinking I’m going to go all moral on you and tell that being a ladies man is bad and immoral, etc..

Nothing could be further from the truth. If you want that, then I say go for it!
It’s your life man!

But I DO want to warn you about a couple of pitfalls.

The first of those, is GETTING TOO FAR INTO IT.

Some men, especially those who have never had any luck with girls, will read this article and other material on the internet and then go out and make it PART OF THEIR LIFE AND A MAJOR PART OF THEIR IDENTITY.

I want to stress that when you get so far deep into this sort of lifestyle and have NO OTHER INTERESTS OR HOBBIES, or DO NOTHING ELSE WITH YOUR TIME, you risk falling into a sea of shallowness and despair.

You will start to become a WEIRD HUMAN if your personality becomes little more than a bunch of pickup techniques.

There is nothing wrong with pickup, but it should be BALANCED OUT WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

My second point is if your current social skills and your confidence are not that great, then you should probably not get into pickup. At least not yet.

For a SHY guy, the emotional consequences of forcing yourself to go out and approach random strangers will OVERWHELM YOU FAR MORE THAN THE AVERAGE (NORMALLY SOCIALIZED) MAN.

You are withdrawn from life, so your social experiences are quite limited. This kind of pressure can be quite harmful.

Yeah sure everyone will tell you you need to “get out more”. And it’s true, but you also need to grow and develop at your own pace, which doesn’t mean forcing yourself into situations that SCARE YOU SHITLESS.

You need build up slowly. Take baby steps..

Sign up for my free course, which shows you steps you can take for gradually putting yourself out there and gaining more social experience and confidence.

Technorati Tags: Picking Girls Up

I do not wish to sound harsh, but those of you who are not currently succeeding with women may well have a long, hard road ahead of them.

A significant number of men fail to understand that the process of successfully bringing a woman into their life requires CHANGE and HARD WORK.

BIG CHANGES and LOTS of HARD WORK

Most men TOTALLY UNDERESTIMATE how much effort is required to succeed.

Frankly the hard work and cost of achieving what you want may be steep… if you are already a long way from your destination.

And I believe an important step that you are going to have to realize, before you get ANYWHERE is this..

YOUR GOAL IS NOT TO FIND A WOMAN WHO CAN COMPLETELY ACCEPT YOU FOR “WHO YOU ARE”

If you are not an attractive man today, you could waste a lot of time looking far and wide for that elusive, beautiful woman who accepts you and FAIL every time.

I know this may sound harsh but there is a great deal of truth in this.

There are two types of men who are usually traveling this path.

You have the socially inept guy who is on a futile search for the first woman who is desperate enough to accept him.

And then on the other side of the join there is analytical guy, looking for a step by step system of checklists and pickup techniques he can follow and win over the heart of a special girl.

In both cases, neither one will get ANYWHERE.

Sure you could read the latest article on AskMen.com or Maxim magazine, or the latest “pickup” product and learn all the “right techniques” that will improve your love life. And you will probably learn something of value in these products.

However all of this will fall FLAT, if being an attractive man is not part of your INTERNAL IDENTITY. This is a much deeper goal than learning some pickup technique. It is a path of personal growth and one that may take months or even years to achieve.

To illustrate this point. Consider the following scenario:

You are in the line at Starbucks waiting for your order, when the “woman of your dreams” enters the room. You can just tell from the moment you see her that she is going to be the mother of your kids.

You summon the courage to approach her (it is unlikely that you would even get this far if you are nervous and shy, but I’ll suspend disbelief a little here to illustrate my point…)

Put yourself in the mind of this girl. How would you feel if a guy walked up to you and presented himself like this:

• He is painfully shy and nervous
• He seems like he is praying for someone to save him
• His elbows are tucked into his ribs
• His legs are touching each other
• He is hunched over
• He is not making any attempt to meet your eyes, in fact, his eyes are pointing to the ground
• His clothes are frayed, sloppy and fit poorly
• He makes no movement, he stands perfectly still
• He shows no emotion whatsoever

Chances are you would try to avoid this guy at all costs!

You may have learned all the tricks and techniques. And some may help. But if you are not the person you are trying to be, on a deeper level. . You may just be that guy above instead.

You are saying the right things and doing the right stuff. But it still doesn’t work. Because deep down you know, you are NOT the MAN. You are FAKING the MAN.

Knowing the right things to say and the right moves  is just a small part of it. Most of what attracts women is your BEHAVIOR.

You are NOT an attractive man and on a deeper level you know it.

Knowing the right words to SAY to a woman is important, but it’s only 20% of what you need to accomplish. The more critical 80% that needs to be established first is to FIRMLY ESTABLISH YOUR IDENTITY AS A REAL MAN.

Now the big question that most of you guys will now be asking is HOW?

Let’s consider a guy who wants to be in a band.

This guy has a real passion for music, but knows that he has a long way to go before he can perform on a stage and get any kind of respect. He takes voice lessons, learns to play guitars and drums. This guy hangs out with other musicians, he practices at home, for hours..

Every opportunity he gets to practice with other musicians, he takes. He goes and listens to other bands perform and at some point during the process he makes a profound transition of taking an activity that he loves and incorporates it into his very soul.

Because in the beginning he may think to himself..

“I love music..”

But after much dedication and practice and confidence building.. After all the music he has performed has become part of his subconscious.. And his ability to convincingly perform on stage becomes instinctive.. He wakes up one fine morning.. looks in the mirror and says to himself..

“Dude, you ARE a MUSICIAN”

And then he puts and ad in his local paper announcing his intentions to play in a band.

Now it may seem like being a musician and attracting a woman are two entirely different thing. But looking for a girlfriend or attracting a woman is very much deciding if you want to become a lead guitarist or singer for a band.

You either understand that you are a REAL musician who has a legitimate shot at success..

OR

You are just trying to mimic your way through without trying to screw up too badly, when in fact everyone in the audience can pick you out immediately as the nervous newbie that you are. And let me tell you, they will all make the conclusion that:

YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING ON STAGE

Well it’s exactly the same deal with finding and attracting a women.

You either understand and take to heart the importance of establishing yourself as a REAL MAN as part of your INNER IDENTITY. You take steps to improve your appearance, etiquette, attitude, confidence. You learn to be comfortable around women and to LIKE being around women.

OR

You have a litany of excuses in deciding not to adopt them into your life..  Quite often these are ignorance, pride, cowardice, laziness, pessimism and many other common traits and behaviors of men who are NOT GETTING WHAT THEY WANT OUT OF LIFE.

Remember I said earlier that any BIG CHANGE in your life require HARD WORK? And it’s true.

But once again there is something far deeper and rewarding here..
I will call that thing PASSION.

Because if you have PASSION for something, then you really don’t think about the sacrifices you make or the hard work that you do to reach it..

You just do it because..

THIS IS WHO YOU ARE.
To bring attractive women into your life is not something to be taken lightly.
You have a decision to make somewhere along the line. Does the cost outweigh the opportunity? Only you can answer this.

You also have an incredible OPPORTUNITY. You have all the information you need at your disposal that can help you correct your “unproductive” behavior and put you on the path to true growth as a man.

My free 20 lesson course takes you through the steps of developing your social skills, cultivating a good attitude, growing your confidence and creating a lifestyle that attractive women love. This information is available for FREE, but it is up to you to read it, figure out what needs to CHANGE and to WORK ON IT every day until you start seeing RESULTS.

It’s worth repeating that what you learn here is only 20% of the deal.. the remaining 80% is completely up to you.

Trust me on this guys ..

If you are able to bring forth your INNER PASSION as a REAL MAN to bring lady of beauty and quality into your life, then the PASSION she will give back to you will be at a whole different level then what you put in..

Technorati Tags: What Attracts Women